i Am, a Woman

bred
from the blood you run from
the fear you feed me,
feeds me
erupts within me for
I am a woman,
bled
from the inevitably of being too -
woman
too soft too loving too used
to fuel your ego.
I am what I am because
I am
because I hold my reigns
and stare myself into the unknown,
bleeding onto my own canvas
bred
from the freedom you deny me,
I am a
woman

Until freedom

you swore I was an open book
that my pages flipped
at your mere glimpse,
that my words fluttered
on the edges of my lips,
ready.
I dont remember, ever reading aloud.


once I danced around the kitchen
twirling and twisting
hands barely grazing the countertops
eyes closed smile curved at the movement
Only to reopen them to find you glaring at me,
reducing my fluidity
to a barren stream.


i stood on the stage at 14
glaring into the abyss reaching for a familiar face.
sweat beaded down my back and I opened my mouth,
as you closed the door on your way out.


i count the ways
I've been bound together:

 

clawed,
I have climbed from within
burned the remains
and spread them across the ocean.

Find me in the tides that wash across the shores
and the edges that meet the sky,
the sand between your toes that will shake from your shoes
in the salty air that kisses your cheeks and settles in your hair for weeks -

because I promise,
you won't find me here